Website
Last Update: 01 March 2010
Nosham v. 1.50
Previous locations
Milan, Italy
Current location
台中, Taiwan
Next trip
?
World map
Picture of the month
Taichung, Taiwan, October 2009
Quotation of the month
" The world seems so vast when we don't
know it, enormous when we know it and so small when we finally
understand how it goes round! " - Alan Rooster, x/05/2006, Maldives
...other quotes by me
Announcement
The Deserted Island Project Forum has officially launched !
Please register and post new threads!
Links
Other links
The Nosham's traveling guidebook!
Misc
Advertisement
Writings - Philosophy
13 December 2008 - Nowhereland - I can't keep track of the hundred times I spoke about this topic with a friend of mine who is also traveling around the world since he was 16. We usually end up agreeing that there is actually no place left for us to go to, no matter if we have seen 20 or 30 countries, no matter if we keep doing this for 10 or 20 years more, the result wont change at the moment. We couldn't find our eclectic place, the place that holds our standard of beauty, our standard of civic education, of culture, of technology, climate and so forth. We found beauty but along with unbearable weather conditions, we found culture but along with brainwashing governments, we found smiles but along with ignorance...and so on... It took me 6 years of travels to realize that i dont like traveling (if you can understand what I mean, then you're one step ahead of the mass). What's left then, he says we should wait for the interstellar traveling and explore other planets but in the meanwhile live long enough to live till that time (again if u know what im talking about, you're one step ahead of the average dumbass). But me, Im not sure if I can make it till then, therefore I had proposed to find a compromise for the place to be, but right after I had the feeling that this could throw me into another tunnel of 10 years cruising with the difference of a rather new "unblurred" target. I do not exclude either taking a long break from my trips or creating bunch of bases for a quite long term plan of generating a decent income (even though i'll not be applying for a job but most probably setting up my own biz). On the other hand, I am (because he doesnt believe anymore in such things) still surfing the wave in the eclectical-ideal-woman search all the way. Anyways, I think we sowed (Im still sowing) quite some seeds, the time to mow must come, sooner or later...
26 September 2008 - Writing the last-willing note - I have been neglecting this issue during the last years because the topic used to scare me. Recently, it no longer does...so it's on, talking about my own after-death "responsibilities" and "rewards". Selfishly speaking, pragmatically speaking, in case of me passing away, why should I give a damn about what will happen to friends, relatives and people that used to be around me in general? Why should I care the way I will be remembered? Anyway I can't know all that when I'm already dead! I can't for example feel responsible for my children left alone because my brain wouldn't function anymore to transmit me this impulse. For instance, we all know that it would’t make any difference being buried under 10mts of snow in a gold coffin, or, being turned into ash, be put in a cornflakes box and be thrown away from the 28th floor. Once I'm dead I would feel absolutely the same in both situation: nothing. But let's take one step back: the exception comes for one thing: in the moment you're dyeing. In fact, in that moment, just before you die, your brain is still connected and probably transmitting those "life flashing before your eyes" films... Thus, what can change your death experience it's just the way you'll feel in that blink right before your brain is unplugged. So, taking for granted that almost everyone would want to die happy, that's how we deal with our eventual death, by wanting to feel happy even though we know we will not be able to continue being happy after death. This already tells everything. Unfortunately many of us are so naive to believe that we act with the intention of doing something to make someone else happy after our death, but unconsciously we are just fulfilling our ego by instead, doing something just in order to make ourselves happy first, for that second before we die, self-deceiving that we can rest in peace knowing that people who are still alive will remember us or savour the things we left them. I'm aware of it, but I need to prepare my last-willing list (which is by the way private and will be stored in my laptop's folder locked with 128bit encryption). By knowing that most of my last willing will be granted I will find joy when my life will flash before my eyes. I am just another human being who is so pathetically attached to his personal fulfillment that even in the last instant of his life he'll want to grasp the last shot of happiness pervading his senses.
13 September 2008 - Facebook, the net and the new technology have brought Alan Rooster some moments of happiness - I'm always carrying numerous people in my thoughts, with me during my travels and everywhere, constantly present in my memory and connected to my past, whether referred to good or bad experiences. There are quite lot of old dated friends and schoolmates that I haven't seen for ages, (like 10 to 20 years) and at times, when sitting down and letting my self being absorbed by my melancholic and lonely mind, I 've been deeply wondering which way they took...are all of them still alive? Are they still living in the same city? Did they became what they've always wanted to be? Do they still think of me? Do they still have the same home phone number? What are they doing right now? These thoughts were of great company in many solitary occasions, until one day I heard something about a service that could have helped to trace old classmates: Facebook, nothing special at that time, it seemed like one of the many boring friend's network websites. Later on, I tried to google an old friend's name, and I found out he had a profile on this growing "Facebook", so I decided to subscribe, hoping to be able to get in touch with some old mates. Done that, I haven't been in touch with the service for a while, until few friends input my name "Alan Gallicchio" in facebook's search box and finally they found me. So the networking begun and in few months I was able to get connected with at least 10 of those friends whose I would have never imagined to see again in my life. Still I haven't met anyone, but I'm so excited to the idea of being able to meet and hug them again one day while asking each other about the last 15 years of our life, listening their story for hours, not even knowing where to start to tell each other everything! This not only gave me a wider outlook at how the current technology and internet can alter and improve my emotional states but most important gave me a new prospective and a short term gratification to my current pessimistic life that often runs out of reasons to live for.
17 October 2008 - Strange script retrieved - I have found another written piece, a sort of metaphysic page that I must have written back in 2006, but can't really see what I was trying to prove there. Even though it's clear that there is some kind of attempt to classify a mental process about how our brain collect and output the data from the external experiences and use it in general conversation modalities. Was I drunk or something? Or stoned by a big fat joint? Judge by yourself: download or open it here (.doc format)
10 June 2008 - More evidences of the constant dissatisfaction in the human being - I am now in Italy at my granmother's place, nearby Como, the famous and characteristic town in front one of the deepest lake in the world. While observing my grandma these days I have realized how futile our life can be, as when we grow old we still keep the same interface of relating ourselves with the sensitive experiences of everyday. Take my granma for instance, she is 83 years old, I watched her taking care of her plants, spending time outdoor, walking up and down, preparing me 3 meals per day, driving around with the car and doing some minor maintenance to her house. Incredibly she is in perfect health status, paradoxally, even better than mine, she doesnt even suffer a flu, while I am having backaches and allergies. She is wealthy, with her own place including a nice garden, a nice grandson:) and a nice and quiet life in the countryside but still close to main cities and comforts...let's say she s got everything or almost...but still, she complains, she moans and whines...But why? There isnt anything in particular to worry about. At most, the contrary...she should be happy and grateful to be lucky to have health and wealth, even compared to other elder granny who have hundreds of problems, they are on the wheelchair or with cerebral problems, or if they're lucky they use a walking stick to walk. But no matter if we have cancer or we are strong like a gladiator, neither if we are broke nor trillionare, still, there is something that doesnt let us in peace, not even at 80 or 90 years old..not until you die...and that is not just telling us that our need is never ending, but that there's something else which is already structured in our genes, the black sheep of all philosophers: seeking the meaning of life within "intelligent" forms of life and our stubbornness in not accepting that there is no meaning at all.
19 March 2008 - Are you in love with "the love", with "the woman" or with "falling in love" ? - I have been recently asked to answer, by a Mexican friend of mine. It is definitely a very clever question that does not sounds really new to me, as it's the direct descendent of the universal issue of "love". Anyway, the question itself, is indirectly pointing out that probably many people out there, can't clearly determine the difference between being in love and being in love with "the love". We may confuse in fact, the experience of a deep feeling (love) towards the being-sphere of our partner, with the potential feeling of love towards our ego-sphere that makes us feel we are in love. To continue, I see a common chance of falling in love with "the woman" rather than A woman. In some other cases, we might being caught by a net where we want to repetitively experience the very best out of a relationship: those moments when we fall in love. So where do I stand? The-woman is a wonderful creature and she is the mother of a-woman, indeed I love both of them.
9 February 2008 - He that dwells next door to a cripple will learn to halt - Have you ever heard of that old proverb? In simple words, bad company brings bad habit...what goes with the stupid, will become stupid...or any other way you can add...However, agreeing with the truth of the proverb, my question is, why does it never apply on the other way around? Dumb people in company of clever people don't actually become clever! It is more likely the one who gets influenced by drinkers, drug addicts, criminals, shallow people, ignorance, etc. Are we that good in absorbing and sifting the bad content in every given mixed content? The answer possibly lies somewhere when you usually prefer taking too short short-cuts to overcome your fears, your dreams, your worries and your innate pain of living as a new-age human. We have a confused fluctuation of our thoughts being influenced by the others, by the media or by whatever it works for a daily "group-selection" (but wrongly interpreted). We watch and catch erroneous example of values and virtues, by people who are projecting an apparent successful image of themselves based on materialistic achievements instead of humanistic accomplishments. So what is the upside down thing here?
04 January 2008 - My Home - Isn't it strange to feel
you wanna go home, but not knowing where exactly your home is?
However, what is "home"? Leaving behind useless quarrellings regarding
the definitions details of the term according to the last version of the
oxford dictionary, how can we identify our "home"? First association
popping up in my mind: an idea of "house", a structure, practically
speaking, but wait a second, what's the "essence" of home? What's our
"abstract" meaning for it? Let's think together. Usually, we
give it a meaning not only because of the 4 walls made of concrete, but
there is surely something more in our evolved concept of home. Basically
it might be indeed the place where we were born or the place where we
grew up right? For some of you, perhaps just the piece of land we bought
off the government, existing in some imaginary border lines. Anyway, I
have a question for you: imagine you suddenly loose all your friends,
your love, your job etcetera. Can you still call it "home" ?.
Therefore shall we say that home could be a place where you have a wife
or a husband? A family? And a bunch of good friends? What about a job or
a career? Something or someone waiting for you? Memories of past
happenings? A place that you can call "safe"? Or why not a mix of all
these things... So where the heck is my home? Damn it, I don't know! I
don't own any house and for the moment I have neither plans or money to
get one ,since I also couldn't find a country that could satisfy me yet.
I don't like my hometown, I have friends here and there (besides, can I
truly call them friends?), love comes and goes, temporary jobs, ups and
downs and not sure about my family anymore. Then, when I feel I want to
go home, perhaps it's the illusion of happiness which is hidden behind
its meaning. You now might be pitying me as a lonely vagabond, but you
might envy me as well, as I also got a great positive thought out of a
negative one: not having a home gives me an advantage over you, as for
the majority, yours is already done, and for most of you, weren't able
to decide its shape and limits, you probably didn't really build it.
Sadly what is past is past, no matter how far you go, by now you cannot
change it no more. But me, I have a home yet to be created and most of
all to be built brick by brick from zero, all exclusively according to
my taste.
20 December 2007 - Anti-commercial-festivities banner - In case you didn't notice it yet, I added the usual christmas banner at the bottom of the left column. Let's all be good because it's christmas! Then go and spend more money for gifts, try to be less selfish for once, go to church at least for christmas so you can feel less guilty, be more generous, respectful, considering and donate to charity...just because it's fucking christmas...cute bullshit...as that is the very fakest attitude ever, and you know it, so I say, if you are able to do it for few days, why don't you just do it always? If you know that is so good to be good, just be less hypocrite and add some guts to your life, I say be good all the time then, not just because some ghosts told you so. Not because a fucking faggot of priest told you so. Not because that pedophile of san joseph fucked in the ass that bitch of the virgin mary who gave birth to that dork of jesus fucking christ. If for example you want to give a present to your dearest friend, wouldn't you feel a slave of someone who have to tell you when to buy that fucking gift or worse when to try to be a better person!? So not when you really feel like? Or do they make you feel like doing it when they want it? You really want to show something awesome this new year? Be whatever you want to be every day of your stupid life, without finding excuses or hiding beyond obsolete traditions.
2/07/07 The missing portrait. This morning I went downstairs to check my mailbox and I found a letter with Chinese stamps, I slowly and curiously opened it, discovering a greeting paper with a drawing attached in the middle. I stayed without words for several seconds before feeling something that made me first smile and then turning in to something sad. I am sad of seeing memories of those moments which will never come back, I am sad because I will never be able to live those particular sensations anymore, I am sad because I will never be with her again, on that exact day, in that position, in that frame, in that place. Seeing that portrait remembers me how nice we were together no matter it was a good or a bad moment. It's too sad to know that everything is lost, lost in the wheel of time. My literature teacher impressed me once, at the middle school during one of his probably off topic lessons while explaining the most obvious but forgotten and given-for-granted concept about the time:" You know kids that this moment, this second, when it's passed, it's gone, and we will never be able to live it again...". I was shocked at that time, knowing that I couldn't get back the happiest moments of my life, knowing that I should have chosen everything with extreme attention because there were no second passes. For Alan Rooster as well, there are no turning back, no rewinds , only thousands of bouncing memories trapped in a mind. Life sucks for the 1001th reason: we don't own any damn remote control that is capable of making us hold on to a good feeling as long as we want, it's always dashing away, we can chase it but we can't catch it, no matter what we try, sooner or later it will be gone, forever, becoming a gray portrait of lost happiness...
January 2007 : I don't have time for a job! It was the beginning of 2001 when I resigned on my last full-time job contract with HewlettPackard and since then I've just been working with freelance assignments, part-time projects and I've never been a wage slave anymore: I started to work by my own as web designer, IT stuff , secondhand vehicles trader and lately as video editor. I quit the corporate-slavery for multiple reasons ; I couldn't stand to wake up every morning ,being stuck in the traffic for 1 hour on the way to go to work, forge my ass on a fucking chair for 8 hrs, spending my energies improving a company which is not mine and making someone else rich ! I must have been crazy to work my ass out following ridiculous procedures , giving the best out of myself to get the same fucking amount of money at the end every month. Going back home after another hour in the traffic and ending up stressed , just wanting to lay down on the bed and don't do anything where I have to put my brain in. That was the death of the intellectual and physical wellness : selling out the freedom to be able to watch a sunset , eating calmly , have a chat with the people you care of , enjoy and develop an hobby or a passion , definitely dedicating hours of my day to myself , and keep control of the time instead of letting the time control me. I didn't want to sell my ideas and my freedom for a disgusting salary , so I said "hey go fuck yourself mr. Hewlettpackard". Anyway let's get back to the point of my news: long time back I realized that in order to fulfill my intellectual and physical states, I have to conduct a lifestyle where I can choose when and how to work, I have to create time spaces that will lead me to the door of the pure sensation of self control, freedom,wellness and will stimulate my will of living and believing. For doing so, I have to schedule some amounts of my time during a day for devolving into certain activities such as : 3hrs for sporting , 3hrs for writing my journal, travel's diary , update my website ; 1hr to chat/email people I met all around the world, 2hrs to research news trough the internet, 1hr to play a musical instrument, 2hrs to improve or learn new skills , 1hrs for listening to the music, 1hrs of recreational activities , 3hrs for just laying down on the green , look at the sky and meditate over millions of thoughts passing through my stateless brain. Like those, so many other important works or thoughts I'm occupied with. Do you still think I could find enough time for a job? Really ,my friend, I have no time right now , I'm too busy , I have too many things to do and take care of, but hey you sheep, please stay where you are , I still need meaningless employees like you , otherwise who would attend me when I go shopping?