It feels like yesterday, when I saw you the first time with our common friend Piero, we were still teenagers back then, when you brought me out of my introversion, you showed me the funniest ways to hang out, to use slang and to survive throughout adolescence. I have learnt a lot from you: you always kept your word; you were always punctual, aware and attentive to the very small details of communication.
You were a man of honor who always did what he said; you always spoke your mind no matter what, never lowered your guard and never compromised on your values.
You were very far from the mediocrity, with your aesthetic, culture, manners and of course with your profound being.
When you left me, a scary sense of loneliness and abandonment took place in my heart: you were among those very few who could really read between my lines…
Now I will have to deal with empty spaces carrying your name, never to be filled again, struck by sadness.
There is too much around me in Milan to drag me back to memories and hit me with tears of melancholia.
Please, if you can, come back to me and hug me one last time.
You were right, people will never understand, even after your death.
Everybody is searching for an explanation, which just lies under their noses… insulting you, saying that you had “everything” and no reasons to give up; and that is exactly what killed you: you were murdered by people’s ignorance and insensitivity.
A gentle suicide is an act of courage, a misinterpreted retrieval of dignity in front an impasse.
You asked me to be strong and not selfish; not to think about my own pleasure of having you around, but about your pain, and to allow you embracing the ultimate nihilism in peace.
Sometimes it’s more painful to let go…
With love, ciars forever!